In the waiting

There has been quite a bit happening on the home front. Which is why it has been so long since I've written.  David and I have finished our adoption home study which means that we are basically approved and on the waiting list to be placed with an infant. As we get closer to being placed with our baby I find myself getting really excited. Right now at least I'm not nervous or second guessing our decision at all.  It feels very natural actually.  Like our family is supposed to be started this way.  It seems God had this all planned from the start for us.
Flashback several years before David and I met...David's family is very familiar with adoption.  Out of his six siblings,  three of them are adopted. David was so impacted by his sister's adoption, he determined that it was going to be a part of his own future family.  Meanwhile, as I was growing older and of "child bearing" age, I was struggling to cope with the idea that I would most likely never have my own children due to a chromosome disorder I was diagnosed with at the age of ten. In the midst of dealing with that grief, I was also trying to determine how and when I would discuss this fact in dating, knowing that infertility could be a deal breaker with whoever I was dating. As I thought about how I wanted to start my family if God should bless me with a husband, adoption seemed the natural option. Even though I was not familiar with adoption from a personal standpoint, I felt it was a beautiful way to provide love and family for a child who might not otherwise have it. Besides, isn't it a picture of what God did for us in adopting us into His family?
That is where David and my stories intersect. As we dated, it became clear that it was getting serious and I knew "the conversation" needed to happen. Knowing David's history with adoption certainly helped ease some of the anxiety in bringing the subject up but I still didn't know how he would respond to having the option of having biological children taken off the table, barring divine intervention. I don't remember his response word for word but I do remember how I felt after the conversation. I felt so reassured and at peace. I knew the Lord really had been the one to bring us together.
So, to bring the story full circle, we are now in the waiting period of the adoption. There is a relief in this part because all the paperwork is done and there is really nothing on our part that needs to be done. But that's also the stressful part of it too. Because there is nothing more for us to do, it can feel a little bit like our hands are tied. Even my easy going nature is stretched. I guess that's when having the house projects to focus on are a good distraction. It will hopefully keep me from pestering my poor adoption caseworker every week for updates! :)
Stay tuned. I hope to be more faithful in writing and keeping the posts coming.