Fear Not...

Fear, anxiety, stress.  These are not very positive emotions, but each stage of life, however exciting, has the ability to bring these about.  I found myself  struggling with some of these feelings as we submitted our formal application for adoption.  As the process became more "real," so did all those doubts and concerns.  Thoughts like "you're not ready, your life will change forever, what if you get a difficult child..." raced through my mind.  Then all the logistics of adopting began to place doubt about the practicality of adopting a child at this stage of our life.  "Can we afford a child?  What about my job?  How will we finish the house in time?"  The anxiety could have become crippling.  But a thought stopped all others in their tracks..."If not now, when?"  Would there ever be a perfect time to adopt?  Quite frankly, we would be waiting until eternity if we chose to wait for just the right time.

We live in such a risk adverse society, and I allowed myself to get caught up in that mindset.  While I see the wisdom of planning, I think we can allow our fears to get so big that they block out possible blessings in life that God may have for us, if we trust Him.  That really is the antidote to fear.  Trust.  One little word, yet it can make all the difference.  The object of our trust matters as well.  Because when we try to put our trust in the world in all its instability, it comes up short.  However, when we put our trust in the God of the Bible, He is always faithful.  It is God who gives us, in the place of fear, a spirit of power, love, and self control (2 Timothy 1:7).  We can have peace in the midst of chaos and the unknown.  Once I accepted this truth, I was freed to get excited about filling out the application and dream about the child that God may bring into our life; in full faith that no matter the future holds, He will give me the strength to handle it.

In fact, as I was writing, I got notice that our application was accepted and that we will soon be getting more paperwork to continue on with the process.  From here, there is going to be much more to do.  But if I can hold onto trust rather than fear, the process will be a much more joyous one.

Just two pairs of crocs...

I almost let the symbolism pass me by as I walked past them last night on my way down the stairs.  Two pairs of crocs, dusty and well-used.  One belonging to me and the other belonging to my husband.  We use them while we're working on the bedroom that we're praying will one day hold our child.  As I gave it more thought, the meaning of it struck me.  How much harder would it be to work and prepare a room all by myself?  Then I broadened the metaphor.  How much harder would life be if I had to go through it alone?  Thankfully, God did not intend us to walk through life alone.  We need a community of friends and family to support us through the ups and downs of life.  Even when I am physically alone, God promises that He is with me.  Hebrews 13:5 reminds me of this declaration.  Somehow, it is easier to go through a difficulty if we know we are not going through it alone.  That has held true in my life.  In the process of waiting for a child and preparing our house, there have been so many who have come alongside David and I to help and encourage.  It has made the process bearable (even exciting) at times! 

David and I have now officially started the adoption process with an agency.  We realized that if we waited for a perfect time, it would never come.  God has given us peace.  A peace I don't think would be there if we were alone.  

While they may look like just worn pairs of shoes, I will see them and always be grateful that there are two.